Bridges
by 7gifts
Summary: This is from Serena's POV and picks up from where Taciturn ends. It shows the aftermath of Serena's dealings with Chuck and how she deals with the repercussions. it also deals with her feelings about Dan and Blair. Please read Taciturn first.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gossip Girl or any of its characters :(

**Summary:**This is from Serena's Point of View (POV) and picks up from where Taciturn stops. It shows the aftermath of Serena's dealings with Chuck and how she deals with the repercussions. Like Taciturn, it also deals with her feelings about Dan and Blair. Please go and read Taciturn first to understand the flow of events.

**Notes: **The story is told from a First Person Point of View (POV) and is narrated in the present i.e. as things are happening in the life of the narrator. Please be aware that this is from Serena's POV and is bound not to be objective, as we are dealing with the many emotions flowing through Serena during the formative years of Dan and Blair's friendship.

This story follows a similar style to Taciturn in that it chronologies the series of events that occurs in the narrator's life during a particular season in their life – the season being Dan and Blair's blossoming friendship.

_This is a new style of writing, please bear with me. That said, I am keen to improve on my writing, so would appreciate your thoughts, critics and suggestions – all constructive of course._

**Sundries that might be of interest **

_- Morningside Heights_ is the Columbia Student neighborhood.

_- Symposium at Symposium_ is at Morningside Heights and is a local restaurant when Professors accompany students to talk about books and life. I thought this is something Dan and Blair might like. As they enjoy to philosophise and debate about books, films and I bet most things in life.

_- Shabu-Shabu_ is a restaurant on the UES (well that's what google tells me).

_- eStreet Bar_ is a bar on the UES (well that's what google tells me).

* * *

><p><em>Stand and Deliver – Adam Ant<em>

After the encounter with Nate, I go into hiding at my Mom's.

As the days go by I begin to notice the concerned looks from Rufus and Eric respectively. It wouldn't surprise me if the cat is already out of the bag.

The only thing I tell them is that Blair and I aren't speaking. I am so ashamed; I don't want anyone to know what really happened.

Blair comes over to see me a few days later, because Blair always has to be in control. I can tell that she is furious. There is a lot of yelling. Nothing is explained and nothing is resolved. I don't think B and I will ever get over this; I don't think she will ever forgive me.

Since the confrontation with B a few days ago, it looks like my sojourn at Mom's house may be imminently permanent.

Now that Eric is back at school, home is not so groovy without him being here. The concerned looks from Mom and Rufus are more frequent and I know that any day from now Mom or Rufus are going to want to talk about it, but I'm not ready.

While walking through _Morningside Heights_, I spot Blair coming out of _Symposium at Symposium_, Dan is with her. They're both holding cups of coffee and chatting away as usual, they are always talking about something. Dan waves at me from afar, I can see and sense his discomfort. I wave back, glad he is still friends with me. B notices our exchange and looks furious. She then grabs Dan's arm and drags him away. It's a classic Blair move, bear malice and mark your territory.

I wonder if Blair will tell him to never to speak to me again. Moments like this make me contemplate changing colleges.

It's a few days after I spotted Dan and Blair at Columbia that Mom picks the moment to force me to talk. I don't know if my disappointment at what happened at college is still showing on my face or something.

Mom does this thing where she acts the concerned Mom and calls you "my darling" and expects you tell her all your secrets. I am not lulled by it, neither am I fooled by it. I just really need someone to talk to, I wanna get the entire thing off my chest and Mom will do.

Talking to Mom really helps me in gaining a different perspective. However, Mom words "No one likes to be replaced" haunts and taunts me.

* * *

><p>Summoning the courage I go over to B's place hoping for a reconciliation. It doesn't bode well and as our argument ensues B screams at me "Is nothing sacred to you?"<p>

I open my mouth to speak, but Blair beats me to it.

"I could never do to you what you did to me." Blair lashes out.

I open my mouth to speak again, but Blair beats me to it.

"Save it Serena, I forgave you for sleeping with Nate. Because I actually thought you had learnt from your mistakes, but it seems you haven't."

"I was drunk..."

"That is your excuse for everything. _I was drunk_ is the excuse that people who don't want to face up to their actions use to cover up. The fact is being drunk removes their inhibitions and lets them do what they really want to do."

Blair always did know how to push her buttons.

I feel a steady stream of emotions: shame, resentment, jealousy, pain and anger.

"Blair I ..."

"You know what, I really don't want to hear whatever you have to say for yourself because frankly don't care anymore and I don't want to have anything to do with you." Blair interjects cuttingly looking me up and down in disgust.

"I'm done; we're done here!"

Blair then grabs her purse from the bed and proceeds to storm out but I block her escape hoping to get through to her.

"B if you could just listen and let me explain..."

Blair shoves me out of the way and storms off, her Louboutin heels making sharp staccato sounds in her wake. I have a feeling where Blair may have stormed off to.

Here I am left standing here feeling out of place in Blair's bedroom and wishing I hadn't been taciturn. Maybe just maybe, we wouldn't be in this mess. An unflinching desire to escape anywhere far from NYC pervades my entire being.

A steady stream of my stuff begins to appear at my Mom's after that.

Somehow Gossip Girl gets wind of what went down at Blair's, which means that I am now confined to my mother's house like someone under house arrest, thanks to Gossip Girl and her band of merry followers monitoring my every move.

I can't go to the penthouse because I am avoiding Blair and whatever dose of revenge Blair has in store for me; Nate is avoiding my calls and is still isn't talking to me and I can't go to the loft for obvious reasons.

I am staying away from Chuck, so as not to exacerbate an already fragile situation. Chuck is an unnecessary liability.

My days now consist of going to college, moping around the house, being spoon fed waffles and playing board games.

I finally convinced Nate to forgive me after I cornered him in between classes at the college quadrangle. Nate could never hold a grudge anyway. It is nice to interact with someone apart from Mom and Rufus, someone my own age.

I have asked Nate to help me get some of my stuff from Blair's undetected.

From time to time, I see Dan and Blair when walking through Columbia together, sometimes with coffee in their hands or sometimes just talking. Dan still waves whenever our eyes meet, B is just B.

I have many friends at college; I always did know how to make friends better and quicker than Blair. I take solace in the fact that everyone always wanted me first: Nate, Chuck, Dan and most of the boys in high school. I also console myself that once the thrill wears off, B will drop Dan like last season's handbag and things will go back to normal. I silence the voice within that tells me that Dan and Blair have been friends for over a year now and Blair grudgingly refers to him as her friend.

I pick up the phone like I have many times to call Blair like I have always done, half way through dialing I give up because I know what sort of reception I will get if the call goes through. This is so like 6th grade when Blair and I didn't speak to each other for months. Our fights are getting kind of tiring, somewhat exasperating and never ending.

Penelope and the girls love the war and are using it as an opportunity to curry favor and dish the dirt on B. I refuse to be their enabler.

Gossip Girl is bursting with news and opinions about our fight; making comparisons between this one and our previous altercations, and hereby declaring this one our biggest fight yet. I really hate Gossip Girl, why doesn't she mind her own business.

Some ass has started selling "Team B" and "Team S" T-shirts on eBay, someone is obviously trying to profit from a bad situation.

Family dinners are weird when Dan is here, our conversations are a bit stilted as it merely consists of talking about college. On occasions when I try to explain my side of the story he tells me he doesn't want to take sides. I bet Blair doesn't get the same treatment.

* * *

><p>Days turn to weeks, weeks turn into months, I eventually venture into Brooklyn while B is out of town visiting her Dad.<p>

Dan and I hang at Veselka and talk for hours over coffee and perogies. Dan finally listens to my side of the story without judging. He apologizes if he came across as a friend stealer and made things worse. He assures me that there is nothing between him and Blair (well on B's part) except friendship and he is not going to act on his feelings and make Blair (or me) uncomfortable. Any feelings of non friendship are on his part. He then urges me to try and talk to Blair in order to clear the air. I hug him really tightly after that.

Dan being Dan makes me laugh with his anecdotes and dry humor. Boy how I've missed missed our easy camaraderie. I really miss hanging out with him.

A Gossip Girl blast showing me hugging Dan at Veselka goes out.

Dan's phone beeps, he glances at the screen and groans, then his phone rings. He excuses himself and goes outside to take the call.

The next day, one of Blair's minions relays a message to me from Blair - _Stay away from my friends_.

I laugh at the irony of that statement, Blair wouldn't be friends with Dan if it wasn't for me.

* * *

><p>When Blair returns from France, I go over to see her.<p>

Blair is in her bedroom bossing Dorota about while regaling Dorota with stories about her time with her Dad.

I pause at the bedroom door and clear my throat to gain their attention.

Blair glares at me and says "Dorota tell Serena that I don't remember inviting you over."

"Miss Blair say, she don't remember inviting you over Miss Serena."

"B can we talk?"

"Dorota, tell Serena that I don't want to talk to her."

"Miss Serena, Miss Blair say she no want to talk to you. She also say in passing that Mr Dan is a decent, kind human being who will never betray her like Miss Serena did."

"That is enough Dorota, go back to your folding." Blair says giving the Dorota a dirty look and then shooing her towards the task at hand.

"B for what it's worth I am really sorry for what happened."

"Sorry is not going to cut it this time."

"I lost it ok, I felt like I was losing you..."

"I thought this was about Dan? What does losing me have to do with sleeping with Chuck?" Blair interjects harshly.

"I was mad at you ok? I felt like I was losing my best friend, like I was losing Dan..."

"So you slept with Chuck to show me how much you miss me? That is sick, even for you!"

"I slept with Chuck because I was drunk and I wanted to forget."

"That is your excuse for everything isn't it?" Blair replied vehemently.

"I freaked out, ok! My world was changing around me, it was like you had replaced me as your best friend and it seemed that Dan liked you more. I just couldn't deal with it, so I did what I normally do, I drowned my sorrows to escape."

"I didn't know where I fitted in your lives anymore. I felt irrelevant!"

Blair scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"B you can scoff all you like, but you have to admit to the fact that you and Dan are more than _just friends_."

"You are delusional!"

"Miss Blair and Mr Dan have emotional affair" chirps in Dorota from where stood putting B's things away.

"Who asked for your input and is that how to fold my Christie Chemise?" Blair barks at Dorota while glaring at her in annoyance; her cheeks had a tinge of flush.

Dorota mutters to herself in Polish.

Blair turns from glaring at Dorota to glare at me witheringly.

"S, you really are delusional. Are you sure you shouldn't be back at Ostroff Center?"

"Really B, are we going there?"

"You just can't accept that you are not the centre of everyone's universe. And surprise, surprise, when you don't get your way, you go and screw it up for everyone so that everyone notices and focuses on you.

"Ok I admit, I'm a screw up. However, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that Dan isn't your best friend; tell me that Dan isn't more than just a friend?"

Blair ignores her question and says angrily, "You took the one thing that mattered to me and ruined it."

Seriously Blair, whatever was ruined between you and Chuck, was ruined before I got there.

With that Blair gives me my marching orders out of the penthouse.

Our stand off continues and is beginning to feel never ending.

It is no surprise to that B has commandeered the troops not to speak to me. It's nice that Dan is one of the few people apart from Nate who is still talking to me.

Chuck is still not a viable option.

With everything that has happened I wish I had been honest with Blair about feeling left out. I wish I had been honest about B and Dan's connection and how it sometimes made me feel that me and Dan's relationship paled in comparison. I know its selfish, but I want to be _it_ for Dan; just like Rufus is _it_ for my Mom.

* * *

><p>Its taken a lot of soul searching, humility and missing Blair to make me try and talk to Blair again. Apart from the time I went to boarding school and in 6th grade, Blair and I have have never been in a situation where we didn't speak to each other for months.<p>

This time, I apologize to Blair profusely and tell her how much I've missed her. I was expecting Blair to make me work for it, but she responded with a hug and lunch at _Shabu-Shabu_.

Lunch at _Shabu-Shabu_ then led to drinks at the _eStreet_ bar.

I move my stuff back to Blair's the next day.

Dan is pleased that Blair and I are friends again. He jokes that he is now released from a lifetime of shopping trips. Blair gives him a scathing look, he just shrugs at her with a smile on his face.

At times like this I am glad that Dan is in B's life, he has some sort of calming influence on her. If B only had the minions for company their fight would continue, as the minions' tried to usurp my role in B's life by continuously poisoning B against her and rubbing it in at every given opportunity.

Things are a bit stilted between us and I understand why. I know I am going to have to work at it for B to truly trust me again. Dan is being really supportive, which makes things easier. All in all, I'm glad to have my best friend back in whatever capacity.

Summer is approaching and I am looking forward to spending time with B. Nate, Dan and Chuck are off to Monte Carlo in the Bass jet. Dan's really stoked as it is his first time abroad. B is seeing to his wardrobe with the newly acquired American Express Black Card Mom gave to him.

Blair is a bit protective about Dan traveling with the boys because Chuck is involved: she knows what he and Nate get up to. I overhear B telling Nate, _make sure Humphrey comes back in one piece and with no STDs_.

B and I decided to do what Chuck and Nate did last year, spin a globe and summer where ever it stops.

Summering in Antigua was amazing: the sun, the sea, the men, oh la la! And most importantly B and I are back to normal, life is good.


End file.
